Don't Step on the Cracks!!!



How many times have we said, either out loud or in our head's, "don't step on the cracks!"? I wonder if there is anyone out there who hasn't slipped into that thought at some point.

What if though, someone applied this rigidity to lots of aspects of their lives. How would we deal with them?

Intolerance? Avoidance? Interest? Acceptance?

Well, If I'm totally honest, I've experienced that chronology, and more!!

When my first son Dara was born, I knew he was different from an early age, his engagement was different (he would line up toys and rarely interact with them) and his abilities were somewhat atypical (he would sort according to colour and shape - but couldn't put two bricks together!). Yet he was amazingly emotive, enchanting, demonstrative and happy - we never once thought that he may be on the road for an Autistic Spectrum Disorder diagnosis; a label which I'm not wholly comfortable with. Everything had to be a 'certain way' - a particular colour, shape and texture. This was 'Don't step on the cracks' on amphetamines!! Melt-downs were an hourly event, any change was met with tears and almost every outing ended with me carrying him out, red faced and embarrassed.

When Mr D was 3, these rigidities became so heightened that my tolerance was at it's lowest. I had another toddler to care for and I was finding things really tough health wise too. So yes, my initial reaction was Intolerance - I couldn't or wouldn't understand - what would those introspection's bring?

I chose to just Avoid the fact that there might be something that needed intervention. I just carried on, and my instincts kicked in. I tried my utmost to meet his needs and chose to use pictures to explain things instead of words, mainly with books - not visual time-tables, I'll come back to that another time. Now, Dara wasn't non-verbal, anything but, he could talk his way in and out of most things, amazingly the conversation revolved around space or something else he was slightly over interested in ;). I got every Usborne© book on everyday life available and used it to explain, and I suppose, normalise family life.

Well, I guess this is where Interested comes. I started to have a few ping moments, I realised I was onto something good. It wasn't quite eureka! I was too exhausted for that, but it was a start. I began writing lists, mainly for myself, I'm not a natural organiser! From the moment the sun rose in the sky, I knew exactly what I was doing, slight exaggeration, but you get the gist. I was seriously interested in not only his behaviours, but his reactions to this pictorial communication.
 
Together, we created books of symbols, pictures and words. This is where I plug
www.storycubes.com, we used Rory's Story Cubes® for understanding thoughts, feelings and situations. Dara carried his books around like comforters, his little link to the outside world that confused him so much. These messages were on a par with 'welcome to planet Earth'. Dara was in the cockpit, he wasn't ready to land, but he had started his journey of self-expression and self-awareness.

Acceptance?

More next time......... :)